


The End Is The Beginning

by Cephy



Category: D.N. Angel
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-06
Updated: 2005-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-07 02:22:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cephy/pseuds/Cephy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An expansion on some of the flashbacks in "Sum of Memories", but could also stand alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End Is The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sum Of Memories](https://archiveofourown.org/works/60001) by [Cephy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cephy/pseuds/Cephy). 



> ...this generally ignores the Harada twins, as that apparently seemed like the thing to do when I wrote it.

Something was making his nose itch.

The feeling only intensified as he focused in on it, and finally culminated in a jarring cough that set his entire body to aching. He dragged his eyes open to see dust-- on the ground, in the air, seeping into his lungs with every breath. The sky was gray with it, where it could be seen through the remains of the roof high above.

Satoshi tried to raise his hand-- tried again and succeeded, rubbing clumsily at his eyes, curling his fingers across his face as if to filter out the dust. Only then did it truly sink in that he was alive.

Blinking slowly, he managed to turn his head. His eyes immediately caught on a splash of red nearby, still managing to be bright amidst the gray. Niwa was just stirring, sitting up and looking around with the puzzled look of the newly-awakened. His eyes eventually fell on Satoshi and stopped there.

Satoshi took a deep breath-- and coughed, choking. He tried again. "Well," he rasped, "we're still alive. Something must have gone right."

A tired grin spread across Niwa's face, and Satoshi tried his best to return it before letting his eyes slip shut again. His head was hurting, he absently noted. His eyes were gummy and dry. He hurt all over, but especially at his right shoulder, his left knee and ankle--

"What happened?"

He slit his eyes open again, opening his mouth automatically to reply-- then stopped, as he realized that he really didn't know what to say. Everything seemed to slide together in his mind, a blur of half-thoughts and little flashes of sight. He frowned, trying to concentrate. He was at the museum, that much he knew. And they had fought, Dark and Krad--

Krad.

_Sensation of tearing, of something being pulled away-- sound of a scream that was equal parts rage and denial and, amazingly, terror-- _

Satoshi's breath froze in his throat, and his eyes flew wide. Tentatively, he _looked_ inside for the other being, felt around in his mind for the presence he'd always, somehow, been able to sense. And came up with nothing.

For a frantic, confused moment he panicked, wondering what kind of new trick the demon was pulling. But when minutes passed, and his search continued to come up with nothing-- no trace, not even the faintest echo of a mocking laugh-- he was forced to accept that maybe it was true.

He turned his head again, making sore neck muscles work, and stared at the empty space where the Black Wings used to be.

For nearly the first time in his life-- maybe he really was alone inside his own head.

A rush of almost giddy relief swept through him, and he turned to share the news with Niwa-- only to see the boy sitting with his eyes turned inwards and a thoroughly stricken look on his face.

Alarmed, he tried to sit up. "Daisuke? What's wrong?"

The other boy started a bit, coming up out of his thoughts. The pained look receded. "What? No-- it's nothing. I'm fine."

Satoshi just stared at him, finally managing to come up to sitting, though he found he had to brace himself on his hands to stay that way. After a moment, the redhead blushed and dropped his gaze. "It's just-- he's gone," he said, and Satoshi didn't need to ask who. "I guess I'd kind of got used to him being there."

_And that's a good thing?_ Satoshi immediately thought, though after a moment he remembered that the relationship between Dark and his Tamer wasn't exactly the same one that Satoshi himself and Krad had shared. In the end, he just nodded. "Ah."

They were both silent for a moment, then Niwa glanced his way with an oddly shy smile. "You actually called me by my name," he said.

"I did?" Satoshi thought back, then felt his cheeks heating up and was helpless to stop the blush from forming. "Oh," he managed to say. "I apologize if I was too informal."

The other boy actually looked startled. "No! No, it's fine. I mean-- we're friends?"

_Friends_. The silence in Satoshi's head suddenly seemed very loud. _Maybe-- we can be, now. Daisuke_. Thoughtfully, he nodded, and was rewarded with a brilliant smile.

A smile that suddenly seemed to go very fuzzy around the edges, then slowly darken-- and suddenly Satoshi was on his back again, with a wide-eyed and frantic redhead leaning over him. "Wha' happened?"

"You blacked out," came the prompt reply. Daisuke fixed a sharp, worried look on him. "Are you all right?"

Force of habit made Satoshi nod and wave off the question, as he started to struggle to his feet. "I'm fine. We should get out of here." He didn't protest when the other boy wrapped a steadying arm around him, though, since his knees were wobbling somewhat alarmingly. He somehow managed to keep his feet moving as they made their staggering way through the hallways and stairwells and, eventually, out into the light once more.

Satoshi squinted when they pushed the doors open, the light hitting him almost painfully. It seemed brighter than usual, somehow-- perhaps because he'd never expected to see it again. His eyes were watering after a while, and it seemed perfectly natural to just close them, letting Daisuke guide his clumsy steps.

The air was cool. He could feel it on his arms-- but only his arms because the tattered remnant of Daisuke's coat was covering the rest of him, and when did that happen? He turned his head, and tried to ask the other boy about that-- but he was already talking, mouth moving even though he couldn't quite figure out the words. And Daisuke was replying to them.

It really was quite bright.

Someone was saying something, loudly, close by. But it was being drowned out somehow-- they must be near the ocean, the tide must be coming in, because the waves were absolutely roaring. And there were hands touching his face, shaking his shoulders, holding him-- which was nice, really. It had been so long--

He slit his eyes open, wanting to see where the touch was coming from, and the last thing he remembered was a single flash of red.

* * *

He felt hot, but at the same time everything was so _cold_\-- he shivered convulsively, each shudder leaving him limp and gasping. And that's when the soft touch would come back, brushing softly across his forehead, comforting. It cooled the heat under his skin; was, at the same time, warm enough to drive the cold away.

After what seemed like an eternity, he pried his eyes open long enough to look.

He stared at the face above him for a long, frozen moment, frowning as he wondered why he thought it should have red hair-- and then some of the fuzziness receded, and he recognized the face of Daisuke's mother.

The woman blinked down at him in surprise when she saw his eyes open, but she quickly recovered and gave him a reassuring smile. "You should still be sleeping," she chided gently, settling the damp cloth in her hand back against his forehead. "You have a very high fever-- just from shock and exhaustion, I'd say. You'll be fine, but you do need to rest and take care of yourself. I somehow have the feeling you haven't been doing that," she added reproachfully, and Satoshi actually felt himself flush in something like shame.

"Well, don't worry," Emiko said quietly, smiling again. "We'll take care of you _for_ you, at least until you're well again."

For a moment, Satoshi was terribly confused-- they were his enemies, the Niwas. He was Hikari-- he was Krad. But--

_No_, he thought in fresh wonder, as memories trickled back in. _I'm not anymore, am I? No more Krad, no more Dark. Just me and--_

His eyes widened. "Daisuke?" he croaked.

Emiko's smile widened, and she nodded pointedly off to the side. Satoshi managed to turn his head to follow the gesture, and was greeted with the sight of Daisuke curled up in a chair next to the bed, limply asleep. The redhead was still dressed in the same dusty, battered clothes he'd been in before, with the armless coat balled up underneath his head.

"You were nearly unconscious when he got you here," Emiko's voice said behind him, though he only paid it partial attention. "He wouldn't leave-- said he wanted to see that you were going to be all right."

Satoshi just stared at the other boy's dusty face, seeing the dark circles under the eyes, the utter slackness of his mouth that indicated total exhaustion.

_Daisuke--_

Distantly, he felt the cloth on his forehead being changed again, as his eyes drifted slowly shut, and he slept.

* * *

_Red hair flashed in the classroom's harsh lights. Satoshi turned away and pretended not to notice, but he knew from the laughter in his head that it was a futile gesture._

//So pretty--// a voice crooned to him. //Just think of how much prettier he'd be covered in blood.//

Satoshi gritted his teeth and tried to block out Krad's voice, though he had less success than usual-- the sight of Niwa was having that effect, lately, breaking through some of the careful controls he'd built over the years.

//What do you think, Satoshi-sama? What shall we do with him once he's broken at our feet?//

Satoshi closed his eyes briefly, ducking out of the classroom ahead of the rest and walking away as quickly as he dared.

//What would **you** like to do to him?//

/Shut up./ He ducked down a side hallway, away from the crowds, where he could lean against the wall and press a hand to his head.

//It will be fun to break him,// the demon's voice purred. //Perhaps-- perhaps I'll make you watch.//

"Shut **up**," he hissed, hands fisting in his hair.

And suddenly-- there was silence.

Satoshi gasped in a breath as he opened his eyes, and for a long moment could only stare at the ceiling as he tried to get his heart to slow down.

_You aren't here_, he thought fiercely to a voice that couldn't hear him. _You don't exist any more. Leave me **alone**._

He turned his head to the side without really realizing what he was looking for-- and there was Daisuke, still asleep in the chair. The dirty clothes were gone, replaced with oversized pyjamas, and the red hair was damp. The balled-up coat had been replaced by a real pillow, and there was a blanket draped over his lap. But he was still there.

For a moment, Satoshi found it hard to breathe-- his chest was tight with things he didn't even know how to begin sorting out. He'd spent so much effort locking away his emotions so that they couldn't be used against him-- now, though, there was simply so much to think about, and he was too tired to close it all in.

_Daisuke--_

Without conscious decision, his eyes drifted over the messy hair, down the curve of a cheekbone and the exposed line of throat. Swept briefly across the tucked-up limbs. Came back up to linger on the slightly parted lips.

He remembered-- suddenly, in stunning clarity-- a moment in the not-so-distant past: tilting that head back, sealing his mouth over those lips, tasting chlorine and something undefinable Niwa. Firmly ignoring the quiver in his gut at the unexpected warmth of the touch. Firmly squashing the surge of relief that came when the body beneath him quivered and began to breathe again on its own.

Lying in bed, staring, Satoshi shivered and forced his eyes to slide shut. _What am I doing?_

Another memory: sitting surrounded by stone and dust, with that face smiling brilliantly at him, those eyes warm and happy.

He sighed silently and opened his eyes.

_"We're friends?"_

Slowly, Satoshi nodded, watching the face across from his at it moved faintly with every breath.

_Friends. I can live with that. It's enough-- it's more than I ever thought I'd have._

He continued to watch, until his eyes grew too heavy to keep open. Then, he let the gentle sounds of Daisuke's breathing lull him back to sleep.


End file.
